If you ever feel blue or have nothing to do,
Or you maybe just want to cut loose…
Well now I have the cure, if you take it you’re sure
To forget all that’s troubling you…

Now I know just what you’re thinking so please know that I agree,
When you’re off imbibing alcohol you gotta drink responsibly!
With that in mind I think it’s fine to have a glass or three or four,
So long as you don’t wake up naked on someone else’s floor!
So take a shot, and leave your troubles here,
Just loosen up, ‘cause you’ve got nothing left to fear
Come sail with Me and the Captain and all the crew,
To the tropical islands of Malibu
Watch out for the Kraken, he’ll hammer you
So let’s get wasted!
Standing on the beach with my toes in the sand,
The sun on my face, a mojito in hand
I think I’m gonna drink until I can’t stand
So let’s all drink some rum! (rum! rum!)
Let’s all drink some rum!

It’s the perfect drink for pirates and the best when at the bar,
Sometimes I’ll have a glass at home and then I’ll drive my car,
It’s also great at funerals and baby showers too,
In church, at work, or at the mall, and at the petting zoo!
Another shot, just leave your worries here,
So bottoms up, because inebriation’s near
And come sail with Me and the Captain and all the crew,
To the tropical islands of Malibu
Watch out for the Kraken, he’ll hammer you
So let’s get wasted!
Sitting on the beach with my ass in the sand,
A grin on my face and a handle in hand
I think I’m gonna drink until I can’t stand
So let’s all drink some rum! (rum! rum!)
Let’s all drink some rum! (rum! rum!)
Let’s all drink some rum!

And if you think you’ve had too much I tell you never fear,
I’ve found the cure for drunkenness and I’ve got some right here
Just take a swig and you’ll feel great, or better yet have two,
The cure for any malady, there’s nothing rum can’t do
The litany is endless but I’ll try and name a few:
Drinking swilling chugging burning, such a glorious brew
Use it for antiseptic aftershave cologne and perfume too
Cleaning healing swabbing wooing
Courage-building fighting screwing
Bathing Cooking and pre-gaming
Gaming raving after-gaming
Sleeping singing slurring skanking
Sanitizing sharing shanking
Buying selling trading raiding
Sodomizing lubricating
Texting sexting whoring boating
Driving crashing teaching voting!!

So one last shot, just leave your clothing here,
Just don’t throw up, and it’ll all be crystal clear
And come sail with
Me and the Captain and all the crew,
To the tropical islands of Malibu
Watch out for the Kraken, he’ll hammer you
So let’s get wasted!

Lying on the beach with my head in the sand,
Drool on my face and my liver in hand
Who came up with this idiot plan
So let’s all drink some rum! (rum! rum!)
Let’s all drink some rum! (rum! rum!)
Let’s all drink some rum!